NIGHT OF YAWN

What have I to say, on this night of Yawn?

I took Lula and her friend to see a movie this afternoon; in the car her friend told us his family refers to some baby they know, who happens to be black, as a monkey. In other words, they call the baby a monkey because the baby is black.

UM.

The movie we saw, "Grown Ups," was the worst horrific shit trash crap excuse for a film I have seen in a long, long time, not the least because of all the not-so-subtle woman-bashing throughout. It was the story of five idiotic men getting together again after a long, long time, to commemorate their beloved "Coach" (GAG), who died, and each man has a girlfriend/wifey/nanny tagging along, and guess what? It was like a gigantic reaming session on females.

"Oh, he cooks and he's sensitive--it must be that time of the month for him, he's just like a GIRL!"

"Look, he's going out with an older woman--what a hag she is!"

"His wife is sexy and successful, but really she's a stuck-up ding-dong who only redeems herself by apologizing to her bloated disgusting Adam Sandler fool of a husband for having wanted to go to Fashion Week in Milan inside of partaking in the madcap inanities of the menfolk at their rented lake house! Crazy bitch!"

"His mother-in-law, a big black mammy type, farts and has bunions. Gross!"

"His twin daughters are total opposites--one's a sexpot temptress, and the other's a nearly retarded geek!"

"His sons' nanny, from China, speaks with a strong, dorky accent and doesn't understand a thing! Goofy Chinese chicks!"


I'm not being entirely fair: the stereotypes ran rampant in all directions, drenching the men, the kids (gotta have your chunky pre-teen nerd in there), the pets, and the "villians" (what, oh what, was Steve Buscemi doing there?) in overly-buttered idiotic Hollywood popcorn barf--so pleasing, it seems, to the taste of...WHO? Who likes this awful shit?

My main gripe, besides the fact that there was not ONE ADMIRABLE FEMALE FIGURE portrayed in the entire piece of crap, was that, AGAIN, it was a movie about BOYS.

God, I'm so sick of boys, boys, boys in the movies: does anybody else wonder what it would be like if the roles were switched? If all of a sudden we were all watching movies about women, and it was totally normal? Boys and men would voluntarily go to movies about girls and women, without batting an eyelash? They'd pay attention to us the way we do to them?

Don't get me wrong: I'm not a guy-hater. Not at all. I just would like to see more women, more interesting, intelligent women, in the movies. And in music, for that matter. And in politics (note: Sarah Palin is NOT interesting and intelligent). I think I'd like to see more women everywhere, in fact, but at fine dining establishments featuring bikini-clad waitpeople.

Goodness! I guess I had a rant in me after all. Just like a woman to keep it inside until--BLAM!--she lays it all out on you. I must have had an African killer bee in my bonnet...

Anyhoo--it's late. Lula just came downstairs saying she's scared, so I better go up to bed.