Le Big News

We waited too long to tell them the news. Thinking it would be best if some of the wrinkles were first smoothed out of the very creased "plan" part of our Big News, my partner in crime and I waited for "the right time" to talk to I Parenti during our recent stay with them in Francia. As we later learned, the right time had already passed, and when I finally told them--my partner had already left, to finish a job back home--the news was as fresh as a rotting horse's head, and the time was most definitely wrong.

"What do you mean, Joedy lost his job?"

"What do you mean, you're moving to Costa Rica?"

"Why didn't you tell us earlier? We're your family!"


Joedy's and my actions--withholding news and secretly plotting a move--wreaked more havoc than we'd anticipated, and among the unforeseen outcomes was my decision to return home on the 17th as originally planned, instead of staying in France a few weeks longer with Lula and Malko. At my mother's insistence, I decided to go back to Ventura to help Joedy empty the house and get things in order for the move to Costa Rica; although I too thought going home made the most sense, I'd wanted to create an extended remix of the weeks we'd already spent together in France so that finally, finally my parents could spend some real, relaxed, unrushed time with their grandchildren. The disappointment I felt in myself when I decided to go home--when I took back the promise I'd made my parents of more time together--was doubled by the fact that I'd thought I was past hurting them. Seeing my parents sad is one thing; knowing I've caused them the sadness is another.


Lula, Malko, and I flew back yesterday. We woke up at 3 o'clock this morning and I put my jet lag to good use, scrubbing the bathtub, vacuuming the living room, giving both dogs a bath, doing laundry (and sweeping the laundry cupboard!), and googling things like "domestic pets Costa Rica crocodiles." My googling taught me some important things (crocodiles DO like cats!), but I didn't learn anything as important as that which I learned a few days ago: that at 35 I'm still learning, for better or worse, some Big Things about family.