MISGUIDED MOMMY

Misguided Mommy starts blog posts and erases them because they are dumb, because she's tired and not feeling peppy. Would like to go dancing, though.

Has raw tip of nose from perhaps impending cold, which would be delightful because then she can stay in bed all day and expect people to not expect her to change diapers or pretend to give a shit about dogs and the fact that they need to go outside sometimes.

Matrimonial friend gone to Parental and Fraternal Realm to retrieve Fraternal Vehicle so we can borrow it and finally all drive around Austin together, not limited by 2-person truck. Mother of matrimonifriend coming back too, which is cool. Self and m-friend going dancing hopefully together soon.

Just checked on baby orangutan, who was crying from his and his sister's room. Gave him a cuddle, during which his hefty orangutan feet nuzzled mommy's tummy. His sister slept soundly, not coughing anymore, tired from a long day of dentist and the doctor and another school visit, lots of laughing in bath at her brother's butt. Called her mom "Isabel" today, keeps saying how much she "looks like a first-grader" in her new thrift-store button-down shirt, which she buttons up all the way to the top and tucks into her belted pants. Beyond ridiculous! Freakishly adorable!

Misguided Mommy happy to be here, a month into Texan adventure. Always proclaiming "how much she likes Austin," much to Lula's over-it-ness and wishing her mom would stop being a silly enthusiastic goose. Things coming along now, she thinks, and she's excited to see what happens next!

ONE-WAY MIRROR

Today I got up at the *crack of dawn and prepared myself for the stimulating fun of taking Lula to the dentist. Seeing as the last time she received medical attention no less than three people were needed to hold her in the chair, and the last time she went to the dentist, for god's sake, she wouldn't even open her mouth, not even to take a breath, not even with all the crying, I was prepared for some bedlam--probably during breakfast, definitely in the car, and without a doubt in the waiting room.

I was wrong--the flouride didn't hit the fan until the dental hygienist tried to take some x-rays, five whole minutes after Lula kind of willingly followed her into the special x-ray room, during which time I almost fainted from reading a story, printed on a card in the parent's waiting area, about a poor boy who died from an infected cavity. As horrifying as the story was, having the card there did the trick: I'll NEVER be negligent about Lula and Malko's teeth. Again. Starting today, they floss after drinking water and gargle after breathing Diablo's breath.

The parent's waiting area has a one-way mirror from which a big room with eight dentist chairs can be seen; the idea, I think, is to reduce the anxiety created by hovering parents, but as the dental hygienist asked me if Lula had ever been "traumatized"--thus her tears--I wanted to say, "no, except for that time six months ago when someone stuck a very sharp object in her mouth, a kleig light shining in her face. No, nothing since that time, but I have to say--you guys have got the death penalty theme down pat! The mirror, chairs, equipment--very realistic!"

I'm being mean; it was a pleasant dentist's office, with nice staff. Lula is going to a pediatric dentist on Monday for the x-rays, and I promised her candy if she behaves, so I think everything will be fine.

After the dentist we visited a couple of schools. Texas elementary schools include an hour of gym, music, and art on a rotating schedule throughout the year, which I think is great--it was so fun to see the art rooms! And the music rooms! Ok, the gyms were cool too, but I'm REALLY happy about the art and music. The second school we visited was nestled in the side of a hill, and it looked so cute and felt so inviting (there was a hedgehog sleeping in the office) that I think it's the one we'll choose. Kindergarten here goes from 7:45 to 2:45, which is a good amount of time, I think--not too short or long. It's going to be weird having Lula in school again, what with all the time we've been spending together since Costa Rica. I'm going to miss her, I know, but she's going to have a great time, and I'm excited for her...

Speaking of Costa Rica, while filling out the school application I put "Samara Pacific School--Samara, Costa Rica" as the last school Lula attended. For a second I looked at those words and tripped out on the fact that my daughter went to school in Costa Rica. How cool, I thought, how extremely very cool. Joedy and I pulled that off, I thought--we moved ourselves to Costa Rica and sent our daughter to school there. For just a little while, ok, but still. Cool. It is. Yes.

Other big news is the night before last Malko, who was standing up holding onto the bathroom door, lurched away from it and propelled himself, all stumbling feet and flapping arms, towards me. He took two wild steps before falling over, and for the next half-hour he was in a state of TOTAL exhilaration. He'd walked!! Soon, I imagined him thinking, he'd be able to get the refrigerator, with its shiny red beckoning bottle of hot sauce, open...


*butt

LOVE DAY

Since last Friday I've discovered there's such a thing as blogger's block, and that it can be made worse by a teething baby and a kindergartener who's not actually in kindergarten. Who is, actually, walking around and around the chair in the living room in a slow shuffle, leaning her body into the chair in such a way that it will collapse if the chair is moved, and the whole thing is driving me insane...

Ok, that was yesterday; things are better today. For one thing, it's not raining anymore, and for another, Lula is having a sleepover at her new friend Anna's house. You might ask, is Lula sad to be away from her mommy tonight? Maybe just a little? The answer is no, Lula is not sad at all. Lula is glad! So glad her backpack was hanging from the front doorknob at 10:40 this morning!

I can't blame her, although we've been having fun together, too. Yesterday we went to the library and then the grocery store, and while I tried to find my way around the traffic-heavy streets she said:

"Maman, do you want me to tell you something?"

"Um. Not now, Lula. I'm trying to...dammit! Where's the stupid library?"

"Ok, just one thing, then. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Sandy the Squirrel lives under the seat."

What? I thought. WHAT? Sandy the Squirrel? Lives under the seat? What seat? The seat in the truck? A seat in the house? Have I ever heard of Sandy the Squirrel? God, please don't tell me she's been talking about this for the past hour and I just didn't hear it...I haven't been that preoccupied, have I? I mean, I've been here, in the truck, right? Focusing on driving and not getting us killed? Focusing on finding that goddamn...

"Oh, YAY! Look, Lula--the library! We found it! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Mommy found the library, Mommy ROCKS!!! So, what's that you said about a squirrel?"

"In Spongebob, remember?"

Oh...Spongebob. That explains it, I thought, and commended myself for not having forgotten something she didn't tell me in the first place.

When we got to Hairy Eagle Butt, our grocery store, it was packed and we were tired but we got our stuff and went home and everything was fine, until late at night when I saw on the news that H.E.B. was...robbed? Forty-five minutes before Lula and I got there?! By two men carrying a shotgun in a brown paper bag? Shots were fired INSIDE THE STORE??? My stomach lurched, and all night long I thought about how scared I am of violence--how scared I am of my kids getting hurt.

In the morning I called Hairy Eagle Butt and learned from the manager that the robbery had taken place in a different store down the street. I was relieved, for the entirely selfish reason that the violence didn't happen near me, and because it meant I could allow Lula and Malko to go grocery shopping again...


Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Since I've been in Austin I've been steeped in love, so happy to be with Joedy and the kids and the pets, and for maybe the first time in my life I'm really feeling Valentine's Day. It's about love, right? Giving love, being loved, sharing love? Well, I know love--I know the upside downside inside outside of love--and I just want to say this:

Good love is like eating a vat of butter with melted chocolate and lobster tails swirled around in it. It's definitely worth waiting for, and if you're a martyr and enjoy that kind of thing, it's definitely worth suffering for, too.

Since I'm getting all warm 'n' fuzzy I might as well say something I've been meaning to say for a while:

Thanks, my dear readers, for reading this blog. It means a huge amount to me.

Happy Love Day to you!!

LULA AND A MINOR DETAIL

Yesterday Lula informed me, as she always does, that she "had to go to the bathroom" (not her exact words, but ten years from now she'll appreciate that I didn't use the c word) and then asked where the trash can was.

"The trash can? Why do you need it to go to the bathroom?" I half-consciously mumbled, trying to string a necklace with the Octopus Formerly Known as Malko sitting on my lap.

Lula's reply came in her new aren't-you-just-a-silly-mommy tone: "For the toilet paper, Maman. Geez--what are you thinking?"

The toilet paper? Oh my god...

"Uh, Lula? You know, you don't actually have to put the toilet paper in the trash anymore. We only had to do that while we were in Costa Rica."

"Oh," she said, and I sat there staring at a bunch of tiny beads, wondering how I forgot to tell her: Not in Costa Rica=toilet paper ok in toilet. For no less than three months, since we came back, she's been merrily putting it in the trash. How in the hot-diggity-doodie did I miss that?

I don't know how I missed that, but at least it explains the Mystery of the Overflowing Trash Can--the trash can whose wastefully crumpled contents I was blaming on a certain esposo and his annoying (but NOT annoying to me! Oh no!!!) sinus infection, but which now strikes me as totally endearing. A trash can full of used toilet paper, ENDEARING?!

I must be totally in love with this girl.