Saturday, February 13, 2010

Since last Friday I've discovered there's such a thing as blogger's block, and that it can be made worse by a teething baby and a kindergartener who's not actually in kindergarten. Who is, actually, walking around and around the chair in the living room in a slow shuffle, leaning her body into the chair in such a way that it will collapse if the chair is moved, and the whole thing is driving me insane...

Ok, that was yesterday; things are better today. For one thing, it's not raining anymore, and for another, Lula is having a sleepover at her new friend Anna's house. You might ask, is Lula sad to be away from her mommy tonight? Maybe just a little? The answer is no, Lula is not sad at all. Lula is glad! So glad her backpack was hanging from the front doorknob at 10:40 this morning!

I can't blame her, although we've been having fun together, too. Yesterday we went to the library and then the grocery store, and while I tried to find my way around the traffic-heavy streets she said:

"Maman, do you want me to tell you something?"

"Um. Not now, Lula. I'm trying to...dammit! Where's the stupid library?"

"Ok, just one thing, then. Ok?"


"Sandy the Squirrel lives under the seat."

What? I thought. WHAT? Sandy the Squirrel? Lives under the seat? What seat? The seat in the truck? A seat in the house? Have I ever heard of Sandy the Squirrel? God, please don't tell me she's been talking about this for the past hour and I just didn't hear it...I haven't been that preoccupied, have I? I mean, I've been here, in the truck, right? Focusing on driving and not getting us killed? Focusing on finding that goddamn...

"Oh, YAY! Look, Lula--the library! We found it! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Mommy found the library, Mommy ROCKS!!! So, what's that you said about a squirrel?"

"In Spongebob, remember?"

Oh...Spongebob. That explains it, I thought, and commended myself for not having forgotten something she didn't tell me in the first place.

When we got to Hairy Eagle Butt, our grocery store, it was packed and we were tired but we got our stuff and went home and everything was fine, until late at night when I saw on the news that H.E.B. was...robbed? Forty-five minutes before Lula and I got there?! By two men carrying a shotgun in a brown paper bag? Shots were fired INSIDE THE STORE??? My stomach lurched, and all night long I thought about how scared I am of violence--how scared I am of my kids getting hurt.

In the morning I called Hairy Eagle Butt and learned from the manager that the robbery had taken place in a different store down the street. I was relieved, for the entirely selfish reason that the violence didn't happen near me, and because it meant I could allow Lula and Malko to go grocery shopping again...

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Since I've been in Austin I've been steeped in love, so happy to be with Joedy and the kids and the pets, and for maybe the first time in my life I'm really feeling Valentine's Day. It's about love, right? Giving love, being loved, sharing love? Well, I know love--I know the upside downside inside outside of love--and I just want to say this:

Good love is like eating a vat of butter with melted chocolate and lobster tails swirled around in it. It's definitely worth waiting for, and if you're a martyr and enjoy that kind of thing, it's definitely worth suffering for, too.

Since I'm getting all warm 'n' fuzzy I might as well say something I've been meaning to say for a while:

Thanks, my dear readers, for reading this blog. It means a huge amount to me.

Happy Love Day to you!!

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