RATS AND ZEBRAS

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


HOLY MARY IN THE STABLE SCOOPING POOP!!!

IT'S BEEN SIX DAYS SINCE I BLOGGED!

YET IT FEELS LIKE MORE! AN ETERNITUM!

That's because:

I've been tearing wallpaper--so much and so emphatically that the top layer of "wall" has come off too. Now there's cardboard, or something like it, in patches here and there in the main bathroom. It's an interesting effect--it sort of gives a vintage feeling. Kind of a run-down, vintage feeling.

Hm. Perhaps my house-fixin'-uppin' (I'm talkin' like my hero*, Sarah Palin) is doing more harm than good, you ask? Nay, it's not--the wallpaper in the bathroom was hideous. Mint green with purple designs on it, and all buckled and peeling and stained and disgusting from the, uh...the HUMIDITY that NATURALLY OCCURS in a BATHROOM.

As in, WHO THE HELL PUTS WALLPAPER IN A BATHROOM? That's what I yelled to Joedy the other day. He shushed me and pointed at the open window, but I was like, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE NEIGHBORS CARE?? THEY HAVE A SATELLITE DISH FULL OF DEAD LEAVES ON TOP OF THEIR HOUSE!

As in, I don't think they give an F or even a Flying F about what I think about someone putting wallpaper in the bathroom a long time ago. They don't even care about lightning hitting their satellite dish, turning them and us and the rats into a new kind of Texan BBQ!

That's right, I said rats! We don't have mice after all. Upon closer inspection of the dung heap behind the washing machine it became clear that these turds could not have come out of mouse butts--not even Texan mouse butts. The turds were long and hefty like bullets, and the hole behind the washing machine looked...rat-appropriate. Chewed up and filled with this weird black material that might have been insulation or maybe hair--I don't know which, because I didn't look very closely. We just put a big piece of cardboard over the hole and shoved the washing machine against it.

Don't get me wrong--I like rats. I've even loved rats. I often think about a few rats in particular, and when I do I get scarily sentimental, all of a sudden wishing I wasn't an atheist, so I could believe I'll see them again someday. But those rats were pretty, smart, and cute--they were pet-store rats, as opposed to your average brown, coarse, wild rat.

Oh boy, I'm sounding racist about rats. Time to change the subject.

I painted Lula and Malko's room the other day--blue, BLUE, BLUE!--and woke up the next day on a color-induced high that's continued through the wallpaper-tearing and the less exciting tasks of sorting toys, changing lightbulbs, and hanging curtains; it's been really fun gettin' all creative with this fixin' uppin'. I really love a creative challenge, and there have been some satisfying ones already, the most recent being "What to do with the nondescript framed zebra print?"

We inherited this ok, but very uninteresting, framed print from the previous inhabitants of our previous house, and I'd thought for a while it would be fun to draw over the zebras or somehow change the super-dull tan background; after spray-painting the ugly bronze-esque frame the other day I decided to do a collage around the zebras and cover the putty-colored (god, can you think of more boring colors?!) matting with this black and white paper that has a neat ripple design/texture. I'm pretty happy with the result--Flying F it, I'm VERY happy with the result!--and cannot WAIT to do more collages...actually, I think I'm going to start looking for framed stuff at the thrift store and do more of this "repurposing"...it's SO fun and SO satisfying.

On that note, I should hit the hay (Joedy and I have yet to buy a real mattress, and though the hay's getting rank it's still sort of comfortable...a little dry, which makes it crackle when you move, but overall--not too bad) so I can get up early tomorrow and get ready for the visit of

BENJAMIN! MIKA! EMIL!

*a joke, OBVIOUSLY

2 comments:

uncleremus said...

Sarah Palin for President 2012----
The world is gonna end then anyway!!!!

Isabel said...

Talk about the Apocalypse!

Post a Comment