Thursday, November 4, 2010

I was enjoying the sun in the upstairs hallway, hiding behind a green suitcase that kept getting opened and closed in the most annoying way, when the female giant appeared with a small grey box that she pointed at me. She was so close I could smell her breath, and OH MY GOD--garlic! onions!--it was so intense
I had to move to the window sill.

As soon as I did I saw THAT thing--the female giant, apparently, had put it there as some kind of practical joke. Of course, I immediately started turning green, and while I looked for a way to get off the disgusting dirty sill she kept pointing the grey box at me and breathing that dragon's breath, which normally, being a lizard, you'd think I'd like, but...holy Jesus--you have NO idea.

Without too much trouble I was able to leap onto the suitcase, where, despite the stench, I couldn't resist posing--I do look good in green, after all--for the female giant, who seemed understandably entranced.

The sun felt good on my head and made me feel expansive, so I decided to formally greet the frog

and his companion, a duck. They seemed nice enough, but very quiet--neither said a word the whole time--and after repeated attempts at striking up a conversation I got the distinct feeling they were having a private moment.

Indeed, judging from their position, it seemed like the frog was doing something to the duck,

but when I tried to get a closer look he jumped up, startled, his bloodshot eyes full of warning,

so I climbed over him and left them to their antics.

By then, I was getting sleepy--from the sun, the exertion, the stress of having to look my best while the female giant waved the grey box in my face--and I climbed back up the suitcase for a nap.

It was a little uncomfortable with the frog and the duck doing whatever they were doing back there, but I was able to close my eyes and doze...

...until, of course, another wave of garlic and onions hit me--UGH--and I had to move again, this time to the top of the suitcase.

No relief there--the female giant kept hovering near me with that stupid grey box and breathing that foul stench...I was exhausted and PISSED by then, too worked up to be able to sleep, so I crawled away, off the suitcase, towards the floor.

As soon as I got down I smelled ANOTHER smell--just as strong, but less, well, garlicky--and since it seemed to be coming from the female giant's foot I climbed up on it.

It definitely was a strong smell--kind of oniony, still, but also a bit earthy, not totally unpleasant--and since it masked her breath I decided to stay there for a while.

She was making noises--soft, whispery sounds, sort of like my mother used to make--and as I listened I felt more relaxed, more comfortable with the smelly foot and the grey box and the frog and the duck and everything...

Soon my head felt heavy and I was sleepy again; before I lay down for a nap I struck one last pose,

thinking about how, all in all, it had been fun hanging out with the female giant.


Anonymous said...

This is GREAT!! You talented female giant you:)

Isabel said...

Thank you, Anonymous! The green lizard and I blow kisses your way!

cpt haddock said...

I hope this doesn't foreshadow what we're having for thnksgvkng.

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