I'd apologize for taking so long to write except that I don't apologize anymore*, and anyway, what's thirteen days compared to five months? In terms of breaks I've taken from this blog, the last one has been a phytoplankton caught in the teeth of a blue whale, insignificant as insignificant can be, except that, well...is there really such a thing as insignificant?
To be honest: I didn't write because I've been a little depressed. The fear of not achieving my self-set goals (succeeding with children's books, mobiles, jewelry, photography, collages, short stories, this blog) has been weighing heavily on me lately, maybe because I'm getting close to 38. Yes, I made the ten mobiles recently, and that's great, but, oh god, the children's books! The necklaces and earrings! All the stories I've started!
It KILLS me to think that I might not succeed with some of this stuff. And it equally kills me to think that there's a room in this house, a room I can call my studio, and I haven't used it in...two months. Easily.
What's my excuse? Malko: finding him, today, on the desk in his and Lula's room, the window open and the screen pushed out; losing him, the other day, and then finding him, after a few seconds (of extreme panic) in our car in the driveway. "See, Maman? See?" Oh yes, I see, alright.
What's my other excuse? The house. It's home to nine mammals, five of which have fur. Think fur--lots of it. Lots of feeding. Lots of going inside and outside. Is it my own fault? Am I the only one to blame for the animal havoc I have brought into my life? Yes. YES!!! I admit it. It is my fault. But, oh god, if you could just see little Fia! Such a cutie. How could I resist?!?!? She makes up for Tango, who bites my ankles when he wants to be fed. Although he is cute, in his own way.
Anyway. You get the picture. Between Malko, trying to escape through the window and trying to drive the car, the house, not exactly as spic and span as I'd like it, and the five pets, things are a little hectic at times.
But I've decided to make the remaining weeks until my birthday some bad-ass weeks. I'm going to try really hard not to get sucked into the vortex of worrying, which almost always translates to procrastination, and instead just GET SHIT DONE!
*about that kind of thing
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